I witnessed your wedding and signed the certificate. So you’re married. It isn’t right. She’s totally wrong for you, doesn’t know you as well as I do, can’t possibly love you like I do. Look at her, with her wavy blond hair and impeccable smile. Those teeth can’t be that white. But I showed up, bit my lip when the minister asked if anyone had just cause why the wedding should take place. Oh I could have talked for hours to make my case, but no, I didn’t. I did as I was told. And that kiss at the end, she totally faked that, as if you didn’t know. You were faking it too. I could tell. That’s how well I know you.
By the way, I may have witnessed your wedding and signed the certificate, but I spelled my name wrong, so it doesn’t really count.
Wedding Certificate by Mike Goren, on Flickr