The Elevation of Finster Tomlinson

Finster Tomlison lived an ordinary life, held down a job in the public service sector, paid his taxes, obeyed most laws most days, ate a healthy and sensible diet, and mostly kept to himself. As I said: ordinary. With one exception. Finster had a third arm.

The additional appendage should have been removed at birth, when the defect was first detected, however, due to a clerical error in processing the insurance forms, the surgery was never approved, scheduled, or conducted. Finster kept the arm under wraps by wearing baggy shirts with his extra arm wrapped up with gauze to keep it in place. On the weekends, he preferred to leave the appendage out as it came in handy with the gardening and other household chores. He was a wiz at washing the dishes.

As it happened, when the trilateral body symmetry aliens invaded, they insisted on speaking only to someone who looked, at least superficially, like they did. Enter Finster Tomlinson and his redundant arm. While the aliens were still repulsed by his bilateral symmetry in other respects, they could at least shake his hands (all three of them) in a traditional form of greeting reflecting respect of their Triangularian culture. The ceremony consists of three aliens lifting Finster off the ground, resulting in what is referred to as the Elevation of Finster Tomlinson.


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