We Interrupt

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following important announcement:

Government researchers have recently discovered that cats emerge in the dark. While this has long been a subject of speculation and controversy, an exhaustive study conclusively proves the existence of cats wandering around in your home at night after you’ve turned out the lights. While these otherwise invisible felines may purr upon contact, and will occasionally sit on your lap providing warmth on a chilly morning, you should avoid contact with these furry agents of the enemy. If you should find one of these long-tailed creatures in your home, do not encourage them in any way, do not pet them, and most importantly, do not feed them warm milk. Report any sightings of cats in your home to your local authorities.

This has been an important announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.