Myron, Former Standup

Myron decided he wasn’t funny, so he gave up the idea of becoming a standup comedian. Besides, speaking in front of crowds left him stammering and unable to deliver punch lines. Setup lines, sure; easy peasy.

Fella walks into a bar and set a penguin on the table. Waitress comes over, points to the penguin and says…

Crickets. Then the hands start to shake and sweat stings his eyes, and the unmistakable impression of a crocodile slithering its way up his pants leg grips him, and, well, more crickets until the inevitable uncomfortable coughing starts in the audience, scraping of chairs, clinking of glasses, until Myron passes out, crashing to the open-mike stage, thankful the ordeal is over.