Well Aware of My Inconsistencies

Sometimes I wiggle a bit when the dentist tells me to hold still for X-rays. Not when the buzzer goes off since all that does is fog up the results and they have to do it again, but before that, when he’s not looking. Just because I can.

Sometimes I’ll buy two items and stand in the regular checkout lane instead of using the express ten-items-or-less lane, but I never checkout with too many items in the fast lane. Self-checkout is the best because there’s no one to judge me, not for quantities, nor for the items I buy.

Sometimes I buy concert tickets or event tickets and then end up not going. I know I’m not going to go when I buy them, but I like to collect tickets anyway. I keep them in a scrapbook and imagine what it would have been like if I’d attended.

Sometimes the imagining is better than the real thing. Like, the lead singer might notice me and beckon me to come up on stage. That never happens for real, but in my imagination, oh, then it happens all the time, or at least sometimes.