Game Show Politics

“Candidate Seven, would you like an opportunity for rebuttal?” The moderator nervously adjusted the table microphone as he waited for the response. Candidate Seven had a reputation, and he didn’t disappoint.

“Thank you moderator. I would like to take a few moments and correct a few misleading statements on the part of my esteemed colleague. Seems he’s spent a little too much time with his head firmly implanted in a very dark and smelly place. It’s the only explanation I can find for his extremely limited grasp of current events.” Candidate Seven pauses for the polite laughter from the live audience.

“Now just a minute here,” interjects Candidate Twelve. “No need to insult me.”

“You had your chance, now let the good doctor deliver his medicine.” Candidate Seven enjoyed the populist impression of him as a doctor on his way to cure what ails the country. “Don’t tell me you’re insulted by my words when you clearly don’t even understand the word or you’d be as insulted as I am with the way that two-bit dictator is mocking us and our way of life. You’d have to be as dense as a black hole not to see that his declaration is tantamount to war.” That ‘black hole’ line played well in voter feedback from the west coast colleges, and the largely east coast collegians in attendance responded in a similar fashion.

“Gentlemen,” said the moderator. “According to the social network meter, the majority of viewers are now ready to cast their ballots, so I apologize, but the debate must come to an end. Audience, who do you want as your next president? Which of these candidates can best serve this great nation? It’s up to you to decide. Please, vote now.”

Pounding drums and blaring horns fill the arena as the camera pans across the seats as the studio audience take out their phones and cast their votes. The music reaches a dramatic moment and is replaced with that one signature sound of a mirror shattering followed by silence.

“We’ll be right back with the results after these important messages. Stay tuned to The Mirror Breaks.” The moderator listens to the director through his ear piece, waiting for the commercials to end, then turns to face the candidates when the red light indicates the cameras are live.

“Gentlemen, I hope you’ve enjoyed the experience. This opportunity is given to a select few, but as you know, only one of you will go on to the next round of this presidential campaign. Remember, you’ll receive points from our panel of judges, the studio audience, and from the live audience across this great land. Before we reveal tonight’s winner, how do you think you fared tonight?”