Vacation Request

“Vacation, vacation. Let’s see. Request for vacation. Ah, here we are. Vacation request for Memorial Day weekend. You have a reason to be out that weekend I suppose? Some family connection to military service? Father fought in the war or something like that? There’s certainly no record of any service on your part. You’ve been employed with us since you got out of high school. Not a spectacular work history, you were late, twice, your first year. You are more likely than others to exceed the 90 second rule when you visit the lavatory, and your frequency of visits is in the 90th percentile. You’re not doing much to show you care about your job, are you? That’s not rhetorical, do you actually care about your job? We can always replace you with one of the 57 applications we receive for employment every single day, including weekends, I might add. Coming in here and demanding time off, with pay, certainly doesn’t speak well of your intentions now does it? Here, take this vacation request form and reconsider what your future is all about, then, if you think it is really in your best interest to have a vacation, to steal days from your employer, well, then it will be on your head.”