He wanted to help her, to fix her problem, to tell her that she shouldn’t be discouraged, that these things take time and important things were often difficult and might take many attempts, to encourage her to keep trying and it would all work out in the end. He wanted to build something in her that would stand the test of time, the help her persevere, to overcome and conquer. What she wanted was for him to listen, to hear how much it hurt to spend year of her life preparing and then be told she wasn’t ready, that her years in school were not enough, possibly even a waste of her time. She needed him to hear her words and side with her, become part of her alliance, her tribe, her family. For her, there was nothing to fix, only sides to take.