Living in My Neighbor’s House

If that damn dog doesn’t shut up soon, I’m going over there and shut him up permanently. Seriously, who lets their dog bark all the time. They’ve even got little kids that are probably still trying to sleep. Have some decency and keep your pet under control. And while you’re at it, do something about your trash. You leave the can outside when it isn’t pick-up day and the raccoons got into it last night, so now there’s garbage all over the street. Don’t you have any sense of pride at all? Could you at least park your car closer to the curb so it isn’t such a hazard to the rest of us? Not to mention the upkeep, or lack thereof, on the house itself. That eggshell blue with navy trim probably looked nice when it was painted in 1970, but now it’s all faded and cracked and flaking. Like you. And mow your lawn, if you can even still call it that. More of a collection of invasive species awaiting a midnight herbicide run. I won’t even mention all the problems I have with you as a person. Lazy. And fat. Says it all.

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