You’re Invited!

The parents of ________ invite you to a party.

________ and ________ are proud to host a celebration to honor our son/daughter and his/her ascension into paradise.

Please join us this Thursday, the day after ________ is scheduled for martyrdom after donning a vest lined with explosives and setting off a glorious detonation in the public market place around noon when the town square is packed with the lunchtime crowd. We are hoping that dozens will be killed and hundreds injured in this attack on the evil infidels.

Festivities begin at 7:00pm with light refreshments and an open bar.

Gifts welcomed. ________ has a gift registry with ________ and ________.

Please RSVP with regrets only.