I Don’t Belong Here

I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. Sometimes I find a small thin place between. Like the horizon that separates the sky and the earth on which we walk. Like the ocean and the coastline split by the beach. Like the moment when a child becomes an adult. Like tomorrow is suddenly yesterday. Like fear becomes fate and a choice becomes regret.

Air Conditioner

There are bullet holes in the window
the dog is barking at someone in the alley again
dirty dishes are filling up the sink
but I bought you an air conditioner

Weather is getting rougher
the neighbors are complaining
someone came to the door with a gun
but I bought you an air conditioner

No one makes sense any more
lies are bigger than truths
its dangerous out there and in here
but I bought you an air conditioner

The next pandemic is in the on-deck circle
liberty is more important than life or pursuing happiness
my body is getting older faster than I expected
but I bought you an air conditioner

Tomorrow Makes 17,156

God didn’t talk to me again this morning. That makes 17,155 days in a row. Actually I don’t know exactly when I started keeping track. I just picked a number that seemed reasonable at the time. I also don’t remember if God talked to me when I was very young. Maybe He whispered to me while my mama sang me a lullaby. It could also be that He has visited me any number of times in a dream. I don’t remember any of my dreams. I wake up and know I was dreaming, but the dream leaves me as fast as exhaling. I don’t like to talk about that with other people. The last time I told someone I can’t remember my dreams they laughed at me and said that was stupid. So I don’t tell anyone about it any more. Maybe that’s what happened with God. Maybe someone laughed at Him and said He was stupid when He spoke to them, so He stopped talking. Maybe I did that but I hope not. If it was me, I’m sorry I did that.

Wood Smoke

The smell of wood smoke permitted his hair and breath and skin. Running through the forest, he’d managed to stay ahead of the advancing flames, at times stride for stride with deer and rabbits and squirrels and snakes. He wasn’t sure anymore which direction he needed to find the river so he chose to run down the mountain in hopes the fire would rise up slope instead of down but the smoke continued to follow him, the heat and plumes of sparks dogged his every step.